Well most of you know by now that my husband and I welcomed our sweet little boy to the world. Little man as he will most likely be referred to on here is absolutely perfect and we are so in love and so blessed that he is ours.
I knew I always wanted to be a mother but I couldn’t have ever imagined the completeness I would feel when I finally was. It is like my whole life has lead me to be his and to love him abundantly.
I have not yet decided how or if I will post pictures of him on here. Part of me very much wants to but the other part knows I cannot control this blog and who sees it quite the same as I can my other online networks. So I will make the decision with the hubs soon.
But here’s one of us where I look totally exhausted. This is when I finally got to hold him after almost 4hrs of surgery.
So I guess lets get to the story eh?
At 2am on Sunday I got up to go on one of my many many bath room trips and on the way I felt as if I had peed myself. I thought to myself about how unfair it was that I had now apparently lost bladder control and I was still gonna be pregnant for another week
But it wasn’t pee and it kept coming and I realized my water was breaking!! But I wasn’t 100% sure so I planned to get on google (I’m not the only one) and read before I woke Hubby up….but his bat like hearing alerted him that something was up.
And then it was on from that moment. I finished packing called the dr and was told to head for the hospital. I didn’t have contractions yet so I showered before we headed there.
I was still refusing to get excited at this point it seemed to good to be true that I was going into labor a day after my due date while my dad was still here AND on Mother’s Day! My dr had told me two days earlier I was probably gonna need to be induced next weekend and I just couldn’t believe it was happening.
But it was! They verified pretty quickly my water had broken and they decided to start me on pictocin because I wasn’t dilating much.
But not long after that I started to dilate pretty quickly, my contractions came closer and closer and became more and more painful. I got my epidural around 4cm and continued to dilate and move right along. However I was bleeding pretty badly and they weren’t sure why.
It was determined I had a fragile cervix and it was very very agitated. I made it to 9 1/2cm and then things started to go wrong. I had been in labor about 19hrs at this point and I was tired and hungry and starting to fear the c section I had so dreaded might become and option.
They checked me again at about 9 and my cervix had started to swell and regress. It was time to face the fact I would now be having a c section and the first surgery of my life. I cried and freaked out and thankfully my husband and my wonderful nurse helped calm me down and accept the situation.
I was angry and scared and annoyed at myself for feeling those things. My baby needed me to do this and here I was worrying about me. It was time to suck it up because there was no other option.
They prepped me and took me to the OR where they got everything all set up. Then they brought Tony in, and things got started…..and 20 minutes later they pulled my son from me. The pressure of him leaving my body caused the strongest wave of emotions I have ever felt wash over me. He was here, we had done it our son was finally here. I couldn’t believe it I couldn’t stop crying and I couldn’t wait for them to stitch me up and let me hold him.
Sadly that last one was gonna be awhile. I watched them clean him and weigh him and Tony went and looked at our sweet baby. I couldn’t quite see him but I as trying to be patient (if you know me you know I sucked at this)
Then I began to notice I was still cut open and they seemed to still be doing quite a lot. So I asked what was going on and it turns out a part of my uterus was not contracting normally and they couldn’t put me back together.
That was the beginning of the longest three and a half hours of my life. Some of it I remember and it sucked. I felt horrible pressure and couldn’t breath, my throat was closing, I threw up in reaction to the plethora of medicine I was being given and I went in and out of consciousness. I saw my husband holding my son and felt someone rubbing my head. Finally my dr realized she didn’t know how to fix this alone and she got help and I am so grateful she did.
I remember getting back to my room at about 1:30am in some of the worst pain I could imagine. But they gave me my son, and as cheesy as it sounds it was so worth it. Even the next night and day of blinding pain but if I could go back in time knowing what I know I would do it without a doubt exactly the same again because the end result is so amazingly sweet and cuddly!
Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you to the friends and family who have made us feel loved and cared for. We are all doing really well and loving getting to know each-other.
I will hopefully be able to update again soon.